You Don’t Need To Ask
The Space Between Humour And Frustration: Caught Between Two Parts
It was 7am on a dark, cold, and rainy morning. I was walking to the beach, and it just felt like one of those times when everything seemed to be out of sync. My dog, Bob, was getting tangled around my legs as I tried to lift yet another one of his tiny poos. My other dog, Marley, then also decided to poo in small, but frequent deposits…
Finally, I reached the seafront. Marley was on his extendable lead (because he can’t be trusted), and Bob was free to roam (despite the fact he can’t be trusted either, but I decided to take a chance on letting him off). As I walked, hoping to avoid drama, I tried to accept my discombobulation, but it didn’t really work... part of me still felt quite frustrated.
As I walked along, hoping for a beautifully timed distraction, I noticed something hanging underneath Bobs tail (besides the obvious, masculine anatomy). I called him back to inspect more closely, but of course he forges on; old, deaf, or perhaps just bold. By the time I reached him, the part of me that was frustrated, was now angry, and I couldn’t even remember why I was calling him.
Part of me began laughing out loud when the need to inspect Bob’s back end returned, and I noticed a big piece of sellotape stuck to his testicle. All of a sudden, I could no longer control my amusement, while another part looked around to see if anyone was watching. I was stuck between parts, frozen between freedom, and trying to stifle myself.
As part of me considered removing the tape, another part was saying, “sure he hasn’t noticed it so far… besides, it might keep you amused for a while, and save us all from your anger.” All of a sudden, I remembered that I’m never alone.
I reflected on the potency of my anger, wondering where it had come from. Certainly the earlier events hadn’t warrant this level of anger. I suspected that this had been pent up, shut down and exiled for some time. This deserved further investigation; there was no way I want to keep that stored inside of me.
Meanwhile, the rain had stopped, Marley was finally all poo’d out, and Bob still had the tape stuck to his testicle. In that moment, there was the magic of a rainbow, and the cutest little birds plopping about in the sand. The little voice from within said, “I’ve made up a funny story about all of this”, then she continued…
”Angry Sue goes out, but she forgets to listen to her child-self, so she walks along in her anger and misery, talking to ‘the Big Bejesus’, asking for happiness. In her distraction, she misses all of the beauty, and arrives home just as miserable she left.”
”She’s even angry at the Big Bejesus, asking why it doesn’t give her happiness. Despite talking to the Big Bejesus, she’s still quite shocked when the answer comes… ‘happiness or sadness is your choice, I just provide the opportunities for either’.”
”Unperturbed she says, ‘what opportunities?’ Again the answer comes, ‘do you think Bob put the tape on his own testicle? What about the rainbow, and the busy birds?’ But still she protested, ‘ok, that was nice, but what about the rain, and Marley’s hundred tiny poos?’ And the Big Bejesus says, ‘So? What about it? I told you, it’s your choice…’”.
As simple as it is, this little story made me think about the meaning of life, and enlightenment. What if it’s as simple as realising you’ve suppressed your true nature? Suppressing the bliss and freedom of your innocence, and the strength beneath anger and pain, and the wisdom of it all.
What about those parts exiled in the name of survival; can you hear them as they start to bubble up from within? Have you waited until they are screaming? Because no matter what it takes… they’ll keep you right.
Are you now ready to meet the curiosity, rascality, and playfulness? As well as the anger, pain and fear? If that’s what’s already inside of you, you may as well be with it….